mOTHER'S wORST nIGHTMARE or Is It?

I've been withholding my thoughts lately from my blog. Have you noticed all the new pictures? This self-imposed "call" to be translucent has challenged me. It has been a tough couple of weeks! I wanted to write, but I have always felt more comfortable writing about the funny stories that happen in my life. It's tough to write when the funny stories are not in "hind-sight" and they're not really funny yet. This is my fourth try to post actually.

So I have been thinking. And what has been on my mind might surprise you! Often when things around my house get really tough dealing with the special health concerns and overwhelming needs of two of my children, I think of my Grammy. You must understand though, she passed on to heaven before I left for school at Texas A&M, before I met William, and WAY before five children became my focus, my life. Also, you might need to know that Grammy was from a generation whose challenges were very different from what my generation faces today on a regular basis. And although there is this huge generational chasm between us, Grammy comes to mind when my life presents extraordinary obstacles and requires me to reach far beyond my limitations.

Let me give you my thoughts on this.

There have been many times since Aly was born and especially as our Cam began having health problems that our family has been deemed "The Worst Case Scenario" by friends and strangers alike who seek comfort from the burden of their own troubles by comparing themselves to how things could be worse. Oh Yeah! There also have been times when someone, bemoaning her many worries, has stopped lamenting abruptly to apologize for "complaining when I don't have it nearly as badly as you, Mindy." Really?

And although no one has ever meant to sound hurtful, many people view the burdens that our family faces each day, attempting to meet the special needs of two children and the regular needs of three others, as unbearable and overwhelming. Don't get me wrong. Truthfully, most of the time I am overwhelmed by the day to day "life" presented by my children's needs. But what is also true is the misunderstanding that WE view our obstacles in a way that prevents us from having compassion for others and their burdens, no matter how different from ours they might be. Truthfully, as I told a friend, I could be easily just as worried, tired and stressed out by many things even if my life were written in a fairy tale story book. And never wanting anyone to feel embarrassed about her concerns, we shrug off the label of "Worst Case Scenario" and try to laugh about our discomfort of having a "Job-like" description.

Let me be frank, our family can never be labeled as a modern day Job, found in the Bible. You remember, he's the guy that God deemed as righteous yet allowed him to suffer unbearable loss and physical pain. You might imagine that William and I have had tremendous disappointment as life-threatening, life-altering, life-long diagnoses challenge our children and our family. Many of you commiserate with the overwhelming burdens the many special needs weigh upon our family: financially, physically, and emotionally. Some of you witness first hand as the difficulties have pressed us down like the olive press squeezes the oil from the fruit. And interestingly enough, we have never been crushed into oblivion. Somehow, someway, we have survived!

Okay! -Not just somehow, and someway! There is a definite reason. Unlike Job who must wait for the Lord to exonerate him and restore him after the trial is finished, we can realize freedom from the overwhelming pressure when we identify that the Holy Spirit is here to help today, in spite of our fatigue, our frustration, our sadness. All we have sometimes is a small amount of faith, even just a small mustard seed is all that is needed to stop the press from pushing down upon us. As our family has encountered such huge heartache, we never have been alone. Ha! I guess He takes our mustard seed and makes beautiful olive oil or is it mustard? How does He do that?

This time He used my Grammy, Alice, oddly enough, after which Our Aly is named. Grammy lived a challenging life too. Her life was filled with sacrifice and health issues. She had "experience" that helped her have compassion for other's problems. She especially had a faith that might have begun as a mustard seed in the days early in her life during her fight with TB and surviving an experimental surgery removing a lung to cure her. I guess you could say she gave me a legacy of mustard, an example of placing a mustard seed into the olive press just to make mustard.

Okay! I know this time the metaphors might have become mixed. But the point is that while we wait for results about Aly's heart and treatment for the tachycardia, we remain faithful that God knows the plan. We remain steadfast that a mOTHER'S wORST nIGHTMARE will end in sweet dreams. -Steadfast that even though Our Aly struggles everyday, she always has been the sweetest mustard that William and I ever could have tasted.

Thanks for checking on us. I WILL update as soon as we learn about anything. M&R7